April 2012
fall down seven times, get a handicapped parking space
in case i have a seizure i wear a bracelet that says: please film this so that i can make a gif of it later and become tumblr famous
sorry youre not cool until you have amassed a substantial sombrero collection
are you from tennessee cause you look like you might be from tennessee
just ate three cupcakes cause ill never be as good as jennifer lawrence at anything
March 2012
i wish broccoli tasted as awesome as it looks ive always wanted to eat a mini tree
a mormon walks into a bar and cant drink any alcohol cause god told him hes not allowed to so he leaves
im still jenny from the block cause i havent moved since like 1997
its so awesome when parents say their ugly kids are adorable
todays workout regimen was taquitos
“We have common cause against the night… Why love the woman who is your wife? Her...”
– Ray Bradbury, Something Wicked This Way Comes (via philphys)
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“I read an essay by the great master H.P. Lovecraft where he said that you should...”
– Stanley Kubrick
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